Pushing a Rock up a Hill

That’s what it has felt like for me lately. I went to the PPA conference in Nashville and learned so much! I took notes, I went to every class eager to learn and I made a long list of things I wanted to follow up on as soon as I got back home.

Two weeks ago today I arrived home thankful all of my traveling and conferencing went so smoothly. I was happy to be home and ready to dive in! Then I bent over to pick up a sock….

Hold on not so fast!

Sharp agonizing pain shot across my lower back and down my right leg. I couldn’t stand up and I could barely take a breath. Thursday – Saturday I spent mostly on my back. My biggest accomplishment was getting to the bathroom and back each day. I would lay on my back and just fume. 

I really did try to stay positive! I am so thankful it didn’t happen while I was in Nashville or worse yet in the middle of the Denver airport as I was changing planes. Thank goodness I was home. But still! I had all this motivation and energy I was so ready to get going! I went to urgent care which frankly was absolutely useless. The following Fri– which was over a week after the initial injury– I went to the chiropractor (which I regret). The following day, Saturday, I was back to really intense discomfort.

This week I was finally able to get into a Physical Therapist. She believes it is a disc issue. As soon as she said that my heart sank. However, she quickly qualified that by saying she didn’t think I needed an MRI or surgery. She felt it was a good sign that I was showing improvement this week and offered to help me.

Who has time for recovery?

I am slowly trying to get back. We have plans in less than two weeks to ski with the kids. My PT gave me hope that it will happen. The most painful thing for me to do is sit. I need to sit. I have so much computer work to do. I have been standing up using the kitchen counter and the tall table in my studio as much as possible.

Thankfully walking feels great!

Besides the discomfort and frustration of back pain these past two weeks, I haven’t accomplished nearly what I needed to. My email quit working and I had 4 days of unbelievable frustrating “help” chats with the company that hosts my email. I have ordered the wrong items and had to return them. I haven’t been able to figure out some new equipment I’ve purchased. I’m driving myself nuts trying to decide what new products to order for the studio.

This is what I know

Pain is discouraging. Not meeting goals is frustrating. Self doubt creeps in. Avoidance rears its tempting head.  There is always a silver lining. It’s important to keep moving forward even if you aren’t going the pace you planned on. Just keep moving. Keep looking forward. 

I share all this not as a “poor me post” but just a reality check. We tend to just show the glossy side. We all have rocks we are pushing up a hill. Don’t forget that. You aren’t the only one struggling and I bet if you let others know they would be happy to help you push!

Thanks for stopping by,

Shelly