I have this memory that pops up once in awhile. It’s only a snippet of a moment while I sat on top of monkey bars. I believe I was around 11 years old and in 6th grade.  The only reason I know that is because we were living in Troutdale, OR. at the time. We lived in a subdivision full of houses that had an elementary school right in the middle. Our house was on the outside edge of the subdivision and there was a large farm behind us. My brother and I would ride our bikes all over that subdivision and at times hang out at the school playground. 

 There isn’t much about the day that I remember.  I couldn’t tell you if my brother was with me (probably) or what the weather was like.  Chances are good I was wearing jeans or shorts but I have no specific memory of what I was wearing except, I do know I had on a pair of socks. I don’t know what color but I’m pretty sure they didn’t match what I was wearing.  While I couldn’t describe who said it,  I clearly remember hearing these words; “Your socks should always match what you are wearing.”  I know I remember this because I was shocked or mortified or some other strong emotion came over me. Again, I can’t remember what my socks or clothes looked like that day but I do remember the feelings of that memory and apparently I had not done well pairing my socks with my outfit.  

How did I not know that my socks should match what I was wearing? Why did it make such a powerful impact on me in that moment? Why can I see myself on top of the monkey bars but I can’t see what I wore or who spoke those words? I’m not even certain they were spoken to me. But I heard them and they went straight to my permanent memory bank. Of all of the things in my life that I have tried drilling into my memory, to only have them disappear, this is still crystal clear 40 years later. 

That is so weird.

I guess it’s no surprise that when my kids lived at home I would match socks every laundry day. With 2 sons  there wasn’t a ton of variety with their socks. They were  mostly white sports socks but I still made sure they matched.  If the white sock had a red stripe across the toe or a blue stripe across the toe they were paired with their intended mate. I have always made sure that if I was wearing socks they matched the outfit. But I’ve never thought about why it mattered to me. Do I even know? 

I was just vacuuming when this memory came back to me. Earlier in the day I had thrown away a pile of unmatched socks that had accumulated in a drawer for years. This pile of mismatched socks has been with me since before my sons moved away. There have been times where I have taken the pile out of the drawer and matched what I could and still holding out hope, I would put the misf_its back in the drawer. Today I threw them all away. 

Several years ago when I was still teaching I noticed that students had begun to deliberately wear mismatched socks and I thought that was so weird!

I have other memories like that. Where they are just words said in a moment. Words that went straight to my heart. Sadly, most of those memories are hurtful or embarrassing.  While my sock memory isn’t a life changing moment for me, it has certainly affected my life. 

Why?

I don’t have an answer. I wish as a kid I had the personality that would shrug and say “Hey guys look at my socks! They don’t match and I don’t care!” Oh how I wish that was how I was wired then and now. Age has helped me gain some confidence in my life decisions.  If I wore mismatched socks or socks that didn’t match what I was wearing today I would laugh it off. I would laugh it off but it would have been an accident. I would never deliberately do it. Unless it’s crazy sock day.

What is my point? Do I even have one?

Years down the road we will look back on the Spring of 2020. What will stick in our minds? How will this change our behavior? What memories are being permanently fixed in our brains? There are things I see that I hope don’t change. I love seeing so many neighbors walking or riding bikes past our home. I love that even though people cross to the other side as we approach each other on the sidewalk, there is always a friendly wave and a word or two of greetings.   While time has become less appreciated as we sit in quarantine week after week, we have taken more time to care for our homes and our relationships. Phone calls, face time, letters in the mail, all happening for the simple purpose of reaching out and connecting. 

Thanks for stopping by friends. Let’s keep connecting – at a safe distance for now.

Stay safe.

And for heaven’s sake take this time to match all of your socks! 🙂

Shelly