I feel like my life could be written into one of the Country music songs where my dog ran off , my car broke down and my man left me…

But then I remind myself it’s not. I have much to be thankful for. As I write, Lucy is at my feet at the studio. My Jeep is parked on the curb and I’m certain my man is coming home to me tonight. I need to constantly remind myself of my many blessings when life starts beating up on me.

Why? 

-Because my foot is worse than thought and the future is uncertain

-My computer died

-It is IMPOSSIBLE to renew my business license thanks to offices that refuse to answer phones and  impossible to navigate websites.

But mostly its about my foot, actually the joint of my great toe. I had been told to expect a 3 month recovery. In my mind that meant I would be happily tip toeing through the tulips and happily climbing mountain trails by then (now). When I FINALLY made it to 3 months (last week) I knew things were not going to work out as I had planned. I was still hurting with EVERY step. Yes, I was wearing a shoe and going for walks but they weren’t as enjoyable as I had hoped.

So, I went back to my Dr. who explained that during surgery he discovered my joint was much worse than the pre-surgery x-rays showed. So that means I won’t have the expected result. Needless to say I am struggling with this.

What that means

1. He gave me a shot of cortisone and a lovely boot. I’m to wear the boot for two weeks and then begin weaning off of it a few hours each day until I fully transition.
2. Hopefully with the rest and injection my pain will decrease to a bearable level
3. I need to have another surgery most likely to fuse the joint – I have not fully researched or committed to this yet.
4. This next surgery is a much more challenging recovery I face another 3 month recovery period but this time non weight bearing for 6 weeks. I have no idea when I could fit this into my schedule.
5. Yes, I’m currently booking and shooting. The good part is the boot is actually more comfortable for me to walk in than a shoe.

Needless to say I’m very discouraged. It’s difficult to be held back and reach a goal and then realize the goal can’t be met. The uncertainty is the worst part. Will I hike, climb, bike pain free again? If so when?

Thankfully my brain and hands still work and staying busy is very helpful. 

I appreciate the love, support and friendship. I worry that no one wants the cripple around 🙂 I’m working on staying positive.

What I’m Reading

American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins

Oh my goodness I haven’t read a book that has had me in so much suspense since I don’t know when. I choose this one because of the topic. Illegal immigration into El Norte (The United States). I love books that show me a different perspective. This perspective is messy and scary and I’m so thankful I have the luxury of reading about it instead of living it. 

Lydia and her 8 year old son Luca are desperate to escape their home in Acapulco after a horrific act of violence leaves them utterly alone and running for their lives. 

I am halfway through this book and already I see a 5 star review coming.

What I’m Doing

I arrived at my studio and planned on working with my computer. My computer decided it didn’t want to work. Needless to say I PANICKED.  I have a wonderful friend who is currently working to save my hard drives but the diagnosis is still unclear. So while I focus on fighting off the waves of panic as I consider what may be lost forever I stay busy.

So to stay busy and not freak out as I waited to find out the fate of my much needed, highly used and valued laptop, I rearranged my studio. The LOVE sign came down and Spring went up. I like the new arrangement I feel like it’s cozier and somehow newer. Maybe that’s just all the dusting I did.

UPDATE: I was informed my laptop is dead. I had to order a new laptop last night. Frustrating to spend that money! But super thankful that all of my info on my old hard drive is safe.  However, without my laptop I don’t have the pictures or software to format the pictures for today’s blog. So you get the stripped down version!

Boise

We are headed to Boise this weekend to see our son and his gorgeous fiancee! We are looking forward to getting away and spending some time with them.  Unfortunately I won’t be climbing as I originally hoped but I have no doubt we will still have lots of fun! I’m counting on visiting Chip and snagging a delicious cookie!

Thanks for stopping by friends!

Shelly