Holy Cow it has been a whirlwind these past few weeks. The emotional roller coaster I am on has provided me with a wild ride!

My emotions swing wildly from over the top proud to over the top panic and anxiety. How can it be that something I have worked so hard for has come to be and I’m a confused ball of elation and devastation? And then it occurred to me… I forgot to prepare myself.

Some people may not understand why this week has been so emotional for me, given the fact that we have already experienced the empty nest and all. Josh my oldest hasn’t lived at home for over 5 years so why all the fuss? I guess because in my mind he was still growing up. Still needing us. Still on his journey to adulthood….

Background-

For those of you who don’t know. Both of our sons graduated from Walla Walla University just over a week ago. Tyler my youngest is a realtor with  Discover Northwest Realty check out his new website here http://thepnwrealtor.com/index.html He is doing really well having already closed 2 deals and working hard at it every day. We are so excited he has decided to put down his roots right here in Battle Ground. I guess the chances of both of our boys settling here at home were slim.

Joshua our oldest was offered a position at T.O Engineers in Nampa Idaho. http://to-engineers.com/offices/nampa. We are thrilled with his position and thankful it isn’t further away.

Jeff and I moved Josh to his new home in Boise this past weekend. My heart was so confused. I was sad and thrilled all in the same heartbeat! I’ve been to Boise, or more like through Boise, many times. I can’t say I ever wanted to stop and explore. It’s just too flat and hot for me so my expectations as we rolled into town weren’t very high. 

Not long after arriving that I began to feel like we were leaving him at a resort…

Boise – is kinda cool!

So many blessings have come about regarding Josh’s new living arrangements. He has an awesome roommate who was willing to move from a one bedroom to a two bedroom in a beautiful apartment complex on the east side of downtown Boise. The apartments are just off what is called the Greenbelt which is miles and miles of trails along the Boise River. Soon after checking out Josh’s new apartment we rented some bikes and set out exploring. As we rode along the shady, clean beautifully smooth bike trail we noticed people floating down the river, jumping off the bridges, paddle boarding, kayaking, jogging, playing in the parks, etc for miles and miles. The trail lead us through BSU campus, past downtown Boise and it just kept going…

As Jeff and I rode along we listened to Josh and his new roommate talk about what living and working in Boise is like. My heart was full. So many things {extra things I didn’t dare hope for} were falling into place for my son. Job, great benefits, roommate, awesome apartment. There was just one thing bugging me. Its so far from HOME!

I have been told repeatedly, by numerous people, “at least it isn’t farther away” Yes, I fully realize this on an intellectual level but it doesn’t help my heart at all.  As we drove home on Monday I was just struck by how long we drove, and drove and drove. But the truth is it is an easy days drive. I guess what really gets me is how “adult” it all is. How final it all is. He’s not visiting or staying for awhile he MOVED there…

Jeff and I told Josh how very proud we are of him. How he has become all we hoped and dreamed he would be and more. We are proud of the man he is. The problem is that man is and always will be my son. I don’t know how that works and I don’t want to smother, or annoy but I do want to still be a family. I don’t know what that looks like, I didn’t prepare…

Josh was very reassuring the time or two I couldn’t hold my tears back in front of him. He is so appreciative of us and of the blessings that have come his way. I can see his happiness his hope for the future. We all know there will be bumps along the way. 

I am so thankful that even though I had to drive away from him I did it knowing he had all he needs and more. A great job, a friend who will help him connect with a church family and other friends, a great place to live. What else could we hope for? 

I realize I have another son another man child and we are navigating our relationship as two adults these days. I’m told I will always be their mother and I will, I’m just not sure what that looks like now that they are all grown up. 

Thanks for stopping by

-Shelly